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Category: Comedy

“What if Dear Abby and Dear Prudence were a giant two headed monster?” We (Violet & Petunia, the ettin) answer questions and give advice on topics such as: “What exactly constitutes a town, and why exactly does that not include basically anything monster owned and operated?” or “What are your thoughts on necromancy as a renewable source of minions?” or “Is that screaming coming from *my* basement?”

March 13, 2018

Season 2 Episode 4: Smolder and Wiser

Violet gives Petunia a generous and mandatory present. Also, lots of bad, burning letters.

February 24, 2018

Season 2 Episode 3: Ring Around the Violet

A pocket full of... violence? (We try).  Violet has discovered a way to fit more into a day, and Petunia reflects on a possible (and quite disturbing) personal trait.

February 9, 2018

Season 2 Episode 2: It was the best of times, it was the Valentimes

Mysterious and doily-shaped messages have appeared at The Keep. What horrid, dark forces are behind these saccharine greetings from some other plane of existence? Gross.

January 27, 2018

Season 2 Episode 1: Dearth and Taxes

Its been a cruel, cruel summer, and now that winter is here, Violet and Petunia are ready to get back into the swing of things. Particularly, swinging things they found in their keep during a very inconvenient audit by a dragon. 

July 14, 2017

Episode 16: THE ALLDADDY

Petunia decodes the Odingram and learns something about her own, ahem, proclivities. Violet also learns something important about herself, and the sisters look forward to a short break before coming back to give advice completely uninterrupted by anything ridiculous or-- aw, damn.

June 30, 2017

Episode 15: Brownie Points

The ladies are coming to you live from the aftermath of a gory and slightly unexpected battle. I mean, we expected a battle. Just not this exact battle. Nestor's dark secret is exposed.

June 16, 2017

Episode 14: Bake/Off

We could eat a peach muffin for hours, but unfortunately there's no time for that. At the much-anticipated baking competition, Petunia stumbled onto a disturbing revelation, and has rushed home with a very confused Violet in tow to tell you all about it.

June 2, 2017

Episode 13: To Halve and to Halve Not

Please excuse us, we're a little... out of sync. You might say we are twice the Ettin we once were. Violet is enjoying it, Petunia is not. We're a bit divided on the matter.

May 19, 2017

Episode 12: “Cross”-Training

Get it? Because Violet is cross, and Petunia's training to read letters in her stead? 

Don't judge me.

May 5, 2017

Episode 11: The Dark’s Tower

How can Nestor fix the drywall on his damaged tower? After his latest scathing letter, we're not sure Violet cares. Also, Missing Monster Watch; and who says Sphinxes have to ask riddles anyway?