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3Episodes
Category: Comedy

“What if Dear Abby and Dear Prudence were a giant two headed monster?” We (Violet & Petunia, the ettin) answer questions and give advice on topics such as: “What exactly constitutes a town, and why exactly does that not include basically anything monster owned and operated?” or “What are your thoughts on necromancy as a renewable source of minions?” or “Is that screaming coming from *my* basement?”

July 14, 2017

Episode 16: THE ALLDADDY

Petunia decodes the Odingram and learns something about her own, ahem, proclivities. Violet also learns something important about herself, and the sisters look forward to a short break before coming back to give advice completely uninterrupted by anything ridiculous or-- aw, damn.

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June 30, 2017

Episode 15: Brownie Points

The ladies are coming to you live from the aftermath of a gory and slightly unexpected battle. I mean, we expected a battle. Just not this exact battle. Nestor's dark secret is exposed.

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June 16, 2017

Episode 14: Bake/Off

We could eat a peach muffin for hours, but unfortunately there's no time for that. At the much-anticipated baking competition, Petunia stumbled onto a disturbing revelation, and has rushed home with a very confused Violet in tow to tell you all about it.

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June 2, 2017

Episode 13: To Halve and to Halve Not

Please excuse us, we're a little... out of sync. You might say we are twice the Ettin we once were. Violet is enjoying it, Petunia is not. We're a bit divided on the matter.

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May 19, 2017

Episode 12: “Cross”-Training

Get it? Because Violet is cross, and Petunia's training to read letters in her stead? 

Don't judge me.

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May 5, 2017

Episode 11: The Dark’s Tower

How can Nestor fix the drywall on his damaged tower? After his latest scathing letter, we're not sure Violet cares. Also, Missing Monster Watch; and who says Sphinxes have to ask riddles anyway?

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April 21, 2017

Episode 10: Matters of the Heart(less)

Lots of questions about love today. Nestor crosses a line. Also, it sure is difficult sometimes for an enhanced Ettin to have wildly different, eh, skill sets, and little alone time. 

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April 7, 2017

Episode 9: Back to Bake-sics

Petunia's been montage-ing Violet through rigorous baking training in anticipation of the bake-off.  Half-dad is found. Whatever. Also, some good advice about Vorpal bunnies.

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March 24, 2017

Episode 8: Gratitude, Or Whatever

Violet reads a *cough* heartfelt letter of thanks to the one who helped us out of our, er, predicament. Petunia gets back to us with those exciting statistics she promised.

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March 10, 2017

Episode 7: MAGIC BAD FLOWER DUMB

Petunia blushes at a letter from Asgard. The ladies discuss the ethical implications of magically enhanced items and OH NO

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